Monday, August 28, 2006

Joke of the Last 12 Years

Anyone can use this for their favorite GOP incumbent. It's from Ron,

A joke both parties can enjoy!

While walking down the street one day an UNDECIDED VOTER is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
Welcome to heaven, says St. Peter.

Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see an UNDECIDED VOTER around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.

No problem, just let me in, says the man.

Well, I would like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we will do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.

Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven, says the UNDECIDED VOTER.

I'm sorry, but we have our rules.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his Republican friends and other UNDECIDED VOTERS who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is Rep. John Shimkus (IL-19), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing, and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises . . .

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

Now it's time to visit heaven.

So, 24 hours pass with the UNDECIDED VOTER joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by, and St. Peter returns.

Well, then, you have spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.

The UNDECIDED VOTER reflects for a minute, then he answers: Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

Then John Shimkus comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

I don't understand, stammers the UNDECIDED VOTER. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?

Shimkus looks at him, smiles and says, Yesterday we were campaigning . . .

Today you voted.

Remember once you vote, Rep. Shimkus will forget about you.

Vote Stover for Congress! Honest, Friendly -- and he does NOT forget.
Nuff said!

NOTE: Rep. Shimkus has only been in Congress since January 1997. It just seems longer!


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